I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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