i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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