I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
