If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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