whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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