There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
