Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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