What a fucking waste of an outfit
another moral hangover. fuck.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
