I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
