At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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