i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
