well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
