So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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