If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
