Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need a burrito and a hug.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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