i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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