the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
