I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
