Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
