we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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