I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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