Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
