People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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