dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
