Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
