the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
