Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize