pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
