He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize