so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
