Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
