My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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