Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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