where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
