I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need help removing her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
