he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
