watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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