Can Purell be used as lube?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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