you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
