What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
