Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
