There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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