Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
