Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
