I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
