My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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