PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
