I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize