ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
