I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize