Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
