Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
