if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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