Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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