How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
