If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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