The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize