I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
