Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
