I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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