How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
