Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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