I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
