this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Damn victory sex feels great
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
