you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
