Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
