Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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