I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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